What a House Guest!

I am amazed at exactly what our little guest is able to get away with and still be met with a smile!
Imagine for a moment any other guest coming to stay at your home, someone who may be a very close relative by blood but whom you have never met before. They arrive in town and are absolutely unable to make their way to your home on their own, no taxi or shuttle, god forbid anyone suggest they take public transit! No this guest requires a lift without doubt, not only a lift but you had better go get a special little seat for the car and go straight home with them, no stopping at the pub to catch up with the guys.
The first thing evident about your little house guest is how short they are. Now you have heard about this so you're not totally unprepared but still the size is striking, and this is why you have prepared a special little bed, at no small expense or effort. Communication? Not so much. You'll be doing all the talking with this little guest they just roll their eyes at you like they've had far to many cocktails on the flight in.
Here my friend is the kicker, first night they call out "Hey, get me a little snack....a warmer blanket...a dry sheet....wipe this up for me...pull my finger.....wipe it up again" this goes on for the entire night and never once did they get up to lift a hand, day two is the same and days three through twelve they really start to take advantage.
While I can't say this house guest has yet gone through more bottles than our friend Gary when he was visiting from Glasgow, she is no more difficult to understand then Tommy from Norwich and she is much easier to clean up after a big night than cousin Dominic from London, I have to say it is like having all of them rolled into one and then some.
Here's the catch, you don't walk in and see Gary sleeping amongst a pile of empty bottles and get a big goofy grin on your face, you can only ask Tommy what he just said so many times before you give up ever understanding a word and walk away frustrated and you certainly would never lean over Dom after you wiped up an unspeakable mess and give him a big adoring kiss on the cheek.
Meanwhile our little guest has all of these wonderful attributes and many more. The midnight rants are met with an exhausted adoration and the seemingly endless changing of absorbent pants are done with care and little frustration.

I can only suggest there is some sort of mind control at work here and that these little house guests arrive with every intention of imposing such inconveniences on us, they are in fact master manipulators with the ability to some how make us love them while they wreak  havoc on our otherwise orderly lives. I know we are trapped in this and there is no end in sight, the feeling of joy can only be explained by some Jedi type mind trick, we would not trade it for the world and are only thankful that Dom, Gary and Tommy did not possess such powers.   

Those Guilty....raise your hands.